[Dorothy] Which way do we go? He's pointing both ways? [Scarecrow] Of course, some people do go both ways.

“The never-ending hell of a recession has finally hit the midwest and my firm is now requiring us to furlough, which has resulted in my salary being less than what I was making 5 years ago without a masters degree. It's depressing. That and I feel like a slave most of the days. Sitting in an office, attending tumultuous meetings with clashing egos, and rarely feeling like I am being heard are really getting to me”(sic) – landscape architect and friend in email from today.

I am east of Seattle, staying with friends who live on a mountainside. This has its advantages like beautiful views, a secluded location with lots of space for chickens, ducks, a garden and an Anatolian Shepard that is the size of a small pony. It has its disadvantages like a hill that winds up the mountain with no reprieve. On my second trip up it on my bike I tried to hitch hike. I got no takers and ended up pushing my way up the hill, at full tilt, nose to the ground. Other than the hill, this place is idyllic and Scott and Mini are fabulous hosts. They drove me into Redmond to catch a bus into the city for my meetings with firms. I won’t call them interviews since that implies that there is a job to be filled. There are amorphous, future, hopefully potential jobs at the end of this yellow brick road but nothing is for-sure. I’m waiting for the wizard to finally let down his guise, come out from behind his thundering front and get honest with me.

“Ya, Dorothy. It’s not easy out here”.

There are positive things to be learned from these meetings. I am realizing that the meetings are often about growing my knowledge of the situation and where I fit. I understand why I am asked to explain my process, walk through my portfolio and talk about projects – firms want to see what I’m made of. I got some good feedback from one HR woman who interviewed me recently. I will take another swipe at my portfolio with her comments. Good stuff. Was it worth huffing it to Seattle for this? Perhaps. But the more important meetings are the ones where my ideas and their ideas for what may/could/fingers crossed come along are discussed and turned over, I start to see myself as part of their team (and hopefully they see me in their team). It’s like a trial run at working with them. Except that I don’t get paid. But I hope they remember my face, the conversation and when the time comes, inshallah, they give me a call.

As I evoke different religions’ gods, offer up my future to fate and get superstitious about what I have no control over, I pray that no black cats cross my path today and the salt I threw over my shoulder primes up some clairvoyance for Portland.

“When written in Chinese, the word ‘crisis’ is composed of two characters. One represents danger and the other represents opportunity”
John F. Kennedy